Not-so-secret Admirer

Do your animals have a voice? I don't mean the guttural noise God gave them to convey basic angst. In my mind, my animals have distinct unique voices.

As the official "Food Bringer-er,” I exist for a singular primary purpose. So, when I approach the herd between mealtimes, the constituents, still sated from breakfast, are understandably baffled. Mother Superior looks me over like a side of beef to evaluate whether or not I possess snacks. With a quick sniff of disapproval, followed by a sassy hair-flip and a rear-end view, she stomps off in a huff, muttering cuss words at me too offensive to mention.

Lupé, on the other hand, with her head awkwardly thrust through the gap in the gate, stares at me with fascination and deep adoration in endless, hypnotic eye-contact. Lost in my gaze, she bats her luscious eyelashes at me and in her soft, sultry, breathy voice says, "well, hello, Beautiful." Followed by an audible and malignantly fragrant fart.